…and all that Jazz
You may have noticed that under my “About Moi” section I have tab called “25 Random Things“. The fifth of the 25 items is probably one of my most commented on items. Seems only fair to bring that nugget to surface and give it it’s own post.
5. I’m pretty sure we have more than one soul mate.
Someone asked me today to expound on this. Here goes….
First of all let me say that I don’t necessarily equate a soul mate with a romantic partner. However I do believe that soul mate relationships have an intensity, connection, and magnetism unlike other relationships. Soul mate come into our lives to teach us. Elizabeth Gilbert does an excellent job of describing a soul mate relationship.
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…
I don’t think you necessarily recognize a soul mate immediately, but you certainly might. They come in the shape of friends, lovers, parents, siblings, bosses, employees, etc. For me, as a therapist, I am certain I have soul mate relationships with some of my clients. Before you get up in arms and cry “dual relationships”, no boundaries have to be crossed to realize that the two of us came together to do some very important work. And yes, sometimes I even learn more than I teach.
A few of my soul mates include (in order of appearance):
- my high school drama teacher
- a cousin of mine on my Dad’s side who lives in Illinois
- my best friend from 9th grade with whom I have very little contact today
- a special boyfriend when I was 19
- The Man (I hope that’s obvious)
- the psychologist who was my supervisor when I finished graduate school (A tumultuous relationship which ended poorly)
- Moon Pie
- A man named Fred who shall forever and always be associated with the color of the setting sun in Texas in August.
- A man named Fred’s goofy partner and the sharer of my brain
- my dog Freddie (yep… named after the man named Fred.)
- a friend who helped me learn to love words and the English language (another rather tumultuous relationship)
- clients with whom I played a pivotal role in their growth and a few who have played a pivotal role in my growth both personally and professional
- a therapist or two (or three) of mine
I also think we can confuse sexual chemistry with soul mates. Just because you are sexually attracted to someone doesn’t mean you’ve met The One. And certainly sometimes it does. Just because you feel a special warmth and connection with a person doesn’t mean you have to have sex with them either (ponder that a bit….)
….get the idea?
Music That Moves
Oh my. I Have Loved You Before, sung by Melissa Etheridge.